Trusting Your Inner Voice After Betrayal or Manipulation

When you've been betrayed or manipulated, one of the deepest wounds isn't just what happened — it's the shattering of your trust in yourself. You might question your instincts, doubt your judgment, and fear making choices without external validation. Yet, rebuilding this self-trust is essential for true healing. It's about reconnecting with your inner compass: your intuition.

How Betrayal and Manipulation Damage Self-Trust

Betrayal (especially by trusted figures) can fundamentally alter the way we perceive ourselves and the world. According to Dr. Jennifer Freyd, who coined "betrayal trauma theory," when betrayal comes from a caregiver or close figure, the mind often suppresses awareness of the betrayal to preserve the relationship — but this survival mechanism can sever our trust in our own perception.

Manipulation, especially gaslighting (coined by psychologist Robin Stern), actively works to distort reality, causing victims to second-guess their experiences and memories. Over time, this trains the brain to override gut feelings in favor of someone else's narrative.

In short: betrayal says "You can't trust others." Manipulation says "You can't trust yourself."

Healing requires mending both.

Recognizing the Signs of Self-Doubt After Trauma

• Chronic second-guessing

• Over-reliance on others' opinions

• Feeling "frozen" when making decisions

• Rationalizing your feelings instead of honoring them

• Difficulty sensing your "gut feeling"

• Anxiety around asserting boundaries

These are not character flaws; they are adaptations to survive emotional injury.

The Science of Intuition: It's Not "Just in Your Head"

Intuition is often dismissed as "just a feeling," but neuroscience suggests otherwise. Research from Dr. Judith Orloff and Dr. Antonio Damasio indicates that intuition is a real, bodily-based intelligence. Our bodies process subtle environmental cues faster than our conscious minds, sending warning signals (or green lights) before we can logically explain why.

The Solar Plexus chakra, located around the stomach area, is often associated with these "gut feelings." In energetic terms, it governs personal power, confidence, and inner guidance. Trauma can block this energy center, leading to feelings of powerlessness and disconnection from intuition.

How to Rebuild Trust in Your Inner Voice

1. Practice Interoception (Listening to Your Body) Interoception is the ability to sense internal signals — like hunger, heartbeat, or tension. Trauma often blunts this ability. Mindful practices like body scans, yoga, or simply pausing to notice sensations can reawaken this skill.

2. Validate Every Feeling Without Judgment Instead of asking "Is this feeling right or wrong?", practice saying "This is what I'm feeling right now." Feelings are data. They're messengers. They don't need immediate analysis; they need acknowledgment.

3. Start Small With Low-Risk Decisions Rebuilding trust is like strengthening a muscle. Start by trusting yourself on small choices: what to wear, what to eat, which book to read. Honor the decision without outsourcing it to others.

4. Reframe Mistakes as Learning, Not Proof of Inadequacy Everyone makes choices that don't turn out the way they hoped. Instead of seeing mistakes as evidence that you can't trust yourself, view them as part of the learning curve of reconnecting with your inner wisdom.

5. Create Safe Space for Your Inner Voice to Speak Journaling, meditation, time in nature — these practices quiet the external noise and allow the whisper of intuition to grow louder. Over time, it will feel less like a whisper and more like a knowing.

A Final Thought: Your Inner Voice Never Left You

Even in your darkest moments, your intuition didn't abandon you. It may have been silenced, overshadowed, or doubted — but it remained. Healing is not about creating something new; it's about returning to something ancient and enduring within you.

In learning to trust yourself again, you are not just repairing a wound. You are reclaiming your birthright.

If you’d like to work deeper on strengthening your inner trust and reconnecting with your gut instincts, we’ve just released a Solar Plexus Meditation on our YouTube channel. Click here to listen to the Solar Plexus Meditation and use it as part of your healing journey.

Sources:

• Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Harvard University Press.

• Stern, R. (2007). The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life. Harmony.

• Damasio, A. (1994). Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain.

• Orloff, J. (2017). The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People.